Wild Atonement Page 8

  She gave an awkward laugh. “I guess I haven’t even asked the question, that’s how nervous this makes me.”

  “You don’t have to ask,” Marius said. “Will is right. I was there.”

  Hayley’s expression turned in a heartbeat. Her eyes flashed. “This is a joke, right?” Then she shook her head. “No, I can hear the truth, like Will said I would. But…no. This…”

  “It’s what I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” he said.

  “Oh, that’s mighty fucking convenient, isn’t it?”

  “If you can hear that other truth in my voice, hear this one, too. I asked you here so we could talk about it.”

  Her eyes swam with tears, but she was anything but sad. Or if she was sad, it must have been mixed with a giant dose of rage, because her scent was that—anger. It smelled like dry ice. Cold enough to burn.

  “Why would you wait, though?” she asked. “Why not tell me before?”

  Marius opened his mouth to explain, but she jerked out of the booth.

  Several heads turned to stare in their direction, but Marius ignored them. “Hayley—” he began.

  “Forget it,” she said. “I mean, really. You’d think a little detail like that wouldn’t escape your notice, and if you’re going to keep things from me…never mind. You’re not even worth my words right now.”

  Hayley moved toward the door, and he stood to follow her.

  “Don’t come after me,” she said, her voice cold and sharp.

  He sank back into the booth, thinking of just how bad he’d screwed up. The server came by, took one look at him, and grabbed the menus off the table. “You wanna hang out, sweetheart?” she asked. “Apple pie’s on the house. Broken heart special.”

  “No,” he said, standing and pulling a ten from his wallet. He dropped it on the table. “Thanks just the same.”

  Apple pie wouldn’t fix this. Nothing would.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Her bed still smelled like Marius. Her whole freaking apartment still smelled like Marius. If her shifter senses could have handled the fake aromas, she’d have run to the store and bought a giant bottle of Febreze, but that shit made her sneeze uncontrollably for hours.

  Then again, sneezing might just be better than crying.

  She curled up on the sofa and hugged a throw pillow close to her chest. She’d gotten the pillow because the blue reminded her of her mother’s eyes. Her mother, who was dead, thanks to Marius’s help. Had—had Marius killed her mom, or her dad? Hayley choked back a sob.

  Her phone rang from where she’d thrown it on her bed. Why couldn’t Will ever fucking text her like a real person?

  But the last time she’d answered, expecting to talk to Will, it had been Alec. Hayley shuddered as she walked over to pick up her phone. She examined the caller ID before swiping to answer. It was Will.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “I’m sorry, Hayles.”

  “Yeah. Not your fault, though—it’s his.”

  “He was one of the two grizzlies there,” Will said. “Neither of them killed any of us. In case you were wondering.”

  “I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter,” she said. It was a lie and Will would know it, but he also wouldn’t call her out on it.

  “Look, if you really like the guy—”

  “I don’t.”

  “Hayley.”

  “What?”

  “Hayley.”

  “Will.”

  He sighed. She could imagine him rubbing the muscles of his injured leg like he did when he got frustrated and didn’t think anyone was paying attention.

  “Look,” he said. “I assume he likes you, too. The war was four years ago. Maybe it’s time to…I don’t know. Move on?”

  She couldn’t tamp down the irritation that washed through her. “Oh, that’s precious advice coming from you. You won’t even come home! You won’t even visit me and Jackson and you haven’t even met Summer. You want me to move on from the war, then maybe you should, too, and you could start by coming back. Nobody’s going to force you to stay—just come see us. See our territory. Remember what we had.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like for me there, Hayley. Don’t ask me to do this.”

  “Then don’t suggest to me that I can just ‘move on’ like stepping over a puddle of water.”

  “Fine. It was well-meant advice.”

  “I’m so sure.” She took a deep breath, then sighed. “I love you, Will. I just miss you, okay?”

  His voice was quiet. “I miss you, too. Talk to you later?”

  “Yeah.”

  They hung up and Hayley returned to her spot on the tiny sofa. She pulled the afghan throw over her shoulders, and bunched up the blue pillow beneath her head. There’d be no sleeping in her bed tonight—a bed that smelled too much like Marius. She’d seen him three hours ago and she missed him so much that she ached.

  *

  Her ringing phone woke her, so early in the morning it wasn’t quite light outside. The phone was on the floor next to the sofa, where she’d left it after talking to Will last night. She picked it up and stared at the lit screen. She’d saved the name and number in her phone, wanting to know if he called again. Boris Lockman. Alpha of the Spokane Pride. Alec’s father.

  She’d barely woken up. She didn’t have the energy for this shit. Dropping the phone, she lay back down and pulled the blanket over her head.

  The phone stopped ringing. A minute later, her phone chimed, signaling a voicemail.

  Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. She pulled the blanket from her head and squinted back down at her phone. After picking it up, she clicked through to listen to the voicemail.

  “Hayley, this is Boris Lockman. I’m calling to tell you that we don’t believe you’re mated to another man. A third party enforcer will be at our dinner meeting on December first, to verify that you and the man you’re calling your ‘mate’ are indeed mated.” He paused in the message, as if to let that heavy piece of information sink in. Then he continued, “Now, the Spokane Pride isn’t so archaic as to force anyone’s marriage. But if you refuse my son and you don’t have a mate already, the Dark Pines territory will have to be gifted to the Spokane Pride.”

  Hayley let the phone fall from her hands. It bounced on the rug and lodged itself under the sofa. An enforcer. The territory gifted to the Spokane Pride. Her room felt colder all of a sudden. An enforcer was never part of the plan. Those guys were not to be fucked with. She could’ve convinced the Lockmans, surely, or at least placed enough doubt in their minds to convince them that she was with Marius. But a third-party enforcer? And one hired by Boris Lockman?

  This wasn’t going to go well. And it certainly wasn’t time to hide under the blankets. She had to get this fixed and her only thought was of Marius.

  Chapter Twenty

  In Marius’s dreams, Hayley loved him. Her mouth worshipped his mouth; her skin, his skin. In his dreams, she held his hand as they walked along trails beside Paris Lake. In his dreams, they shifted into their animals and raced through the woods. In his dreams, they were human again and she clawed his shoulders while he pounded into her, screaming that she needed him.

  In his dreams, he hadn’t betrayed her in the worst possible way.

  Marius slowly opened his eyes. His focus immediately landed on the four beer bottles littering the coffee table. It wasn’t like him to have more than two on a given day, but he’d been trying to drown out his reality and bring on the dreams.

  Because the reality was that Hayley hated him.

  Something vibrated near his feet, and he realized the vibration had woken him. Rhythmic, two short vibrations, then a pause, then two more short vibrations. Phone. It was his phone. He sat up quickly and reached for it. Hayley’s name was on the display, and he fumbled to answer it so quickly that he nearly dropped it.

  “Hello?” he croaked.

  “I need you,” she said.

  It wasn’t quite the same tone or volume that she’d used in his dream
s, but it was a start.

  “Sure,” he said.

  “You don’t even know what I’m asking.” Her voice was still brisk, but he knew her better, now. He could hear the anxiety there, as well.

  “This is how we do things, right?” he said. “You call, you need something, I say okay.”

  She swore under her breath. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m still mad about you keeping the war a secret from me. It’s not fair of me to ask you for a favor—”

  “You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. “You can be mad all you want. All I want is for you to listen to my explanation.”

  “That’s fair. Okay, I will. Tonight, nine o’clock at The A-Hole?”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  He didn’t want to do this. She’d just stomp on him all over again. But the lure of seeing her was too great. And if they were able to clear the air—if she could hear from him whatever details and information she needed—maybe then, his dreams of Hayley would become his reality.

  And in order to get as many details as possible on the night of—and the nights leading up to—the war, there was one person left who he could call.

  Standing up, he stretched and looked for his jeans. This would be the kind of conversation that needed a pair of pants. Boxers left him a little too vulnerable.

  The number he needed was in his Recent Calls list. With a shaking finger, he tapped it and waited while the long tones rang in his ear.

  Just when he thought it would go to voicemail, a gruff, familiar voice answered. “Hello, son.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Hayley couldn’t help her nerves. She’d talked to Jackson earlier, explained the situation with Marius—and with the Spokane Pride—and he’d told her that whatever she needed from him, she had it. No questions. If she wanted help chasing Marius off the Dark Pines territory, he’d do that.

  It was eight-thirty. She’d gotten here early, hoping to claim a quiet table in a far corner. But the bar was exceptionally crowded for a Thursday night. Some kind of impromptu talent show which, from the line-up posted on the door, involved about sixteen different solo guitarists. The A-Hole had a pretty decent crowd on a usual night, but tonight, it seemed every solo guitarist in the county had shown up with their extended families. Hayley scrunched between two women at the bar and tried to get Ross’s attention. He nodded at her, a sheen of sweat on his brow as he rushed through taking drinks and collecting cash.

  It took him a while to get to her. When he did, he came with a pint of beer. “On the house,” he said. “Thanks for waiting.”

  “No problem,” she said, smiling her thanks. A single beer wouldn’t put a dent in her nerves, though, so she slid a twenty across the bar. “I’d like a couple shots of vodka, too.”

  He raised his eyebrows but poured the shots and set them in front of her. She raised one in a salute to Ross, then gulped it down. She did the same with the second, wincing at the collective burn the shots made in her throat and mouth. Then she chased it with a sip of beer.

  Disgusting, but hopefully it would do the trick.

  She turned to face the rest of the crowded room. Pool players whooped and clapped from the far corner, and on the stage nearby, one of the first musicians was setting up. She watched him absently, thinking he looked vaguely familiar. Then again, half the people in this bar were probably familiar in some way—she’d grown up here, probably had gone to school with a few of them. Sipping her beer, she let her gaze scan several groups of people. She saw a large guy she was sure had been two years ahead of her in school. A star forward on the soccer team, if she remembered correctly.

  A woman walked up to the stage to talk to the guitarist. He grabbed her and kissed her on the lips. Hayley thought that from the look of it, that woman had not wanted to be kissed.

  When the woman turned around, Hayley nearly dropped her beer. Eleanor. That woman had been good friends with Will, Hayley remembered. Hayley tried to wave to Eleanor, but someone stood up at that moment, blocking Eleanor’s line of sight.

  Hayley slumped back against the bar, hoping Marius would show up soon. She was definitely buzzed at this point.

  And there he was. She must have been more buzzed than she thought, because she hadn’t even sensed him entering the bar. He made his way straight toward her, his body somehow moving through the crowd while his deep brown eyes remained locked on hers.

  Marius. She knew she was supposed to be angry with him for something. For keeping a secret from her. But faced with him, with his large presence and those smoldering eyes and the look of adoration on his face, she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry anymore. She’d hurt him, yesterday at the diner. She’d hurt him with her words, and she’d hurt him by leaving. Her anger, yes, he had deserved that. But she shouldn’t have hurt him. Not someone she loved.

  Was this it? Could she love him? She’d never been in love before. If love was this…this all-encompassing need to be with someone, and to know that they were happy, then…yeah. She loved him.

  And here he stood, in front of her, waiting to see whether she’d hug him or not. She set down her beer.

  “Hey, dickbag,” she said, stepping forward and throwing her arms around him.

  “Hey, assbrat.”

  She laughed. “I think you’re getting better at that.”

  “What’s going on here?” he asked. “I thought we were going to talk, but it’s like the circus moved into town and it’s happening in this tiny bar.”

  “Some kind of music thing,” she said.

  Onstage, the guitarist introduced himself, and several people cheered.

  Marius frowned. “Should we get out of here?”

  “Yeah.”

  He wrapped a hand around hers to lead her through the crush of people. He led her from the bar and out into the cold November air. They stood, facing each other, on the sidewalk outside.

  “Walk?” Hayley asked.

  “Sure.”

  Still holding hands, they began a walk down Main Street. Many of these businesses had been around four years ago when Hayley left Huntwood, but some were new. The vegan supermarket was new, as was a trendy-looking coffee shop at one corner. It was closed now, but she peered in the window while Marius stood at her side.

  Instead of continuing down Main, she led him around the corner into a deserted side street. The scents of coffee grounds filled her nose, probably from a dumpster in a nearby alley. Following the scent, she brought Marius with her. Thankfully, he didn’t ask what she was doing; he seemed content to let her lead.

  A guy who could challenge her by taking charge, but be just as comfortable with her calling the shots? She didn’t have a ton of dating experience, but from her small pool of past lovers, Marius seemed one in a billion.

  She leaned against the wall lining the alley. The brick was cold through her sweatshirt. At the far end of the alley was the dumpster she’d smelled. It was less fragrant than it might have been, thanks to the chilly weather.

  “The Spokane alpha doesn’t believe we’re mated,” she said. “He called me this morning.”

  “So we convince them at the meeting.” Marius held her hand. It seemed he didn’t want to let it go, and that didn’t bother her in the slightest.

  “They’re bringing in an enforcer to mediate the meeting.” She could hear that her own voice shook with tension. “Whatever he says, that’ll be law.”

  “They can’t force you to marry someone,” Marius said. He gripped her hand even tighter and tilted his head down toward hers. “You get to choose who you marry.”

  “True,” she said. “But in that agreement that my parents made? If I don’t marry Alec Lockman, and I don’t have a mate to prove that I can’t, then the Spokane Pride will have rights to our territory. We’ll get driven away all over again. If we don’t relinquish it? Another war.”

  She heard him take one deep breath, and then another. Then he looked directly into her eyes. “What can we do, then?” he asked.

  She wanted
to cup his cheek in her palm. It looked scratchy with his whiskers. She wanted to feel his cheek against hers, the roughness of it against her smooth cheek, like the rough brick at her back. But she remained still. There was something she needed from him, first.

  “I want something from you,” she said.

  “You know I’ll give you anything.”

  Her voice quiet, she said, “I want you to mark me. As yours.”

  Dropping her hand, he took a small step back. The absence of his heat made her shiver. “You want a mate mark?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She raised her chin. “It’s the most potent thing to prove our claim.”

  “But we haven’t…we haven’t even talked about this. Our feelings. Not really.”

  “Marius, this is an emergency.”

  “No, it’s not,” he said, his dark eyes flashing. “I’m not marking you out of desperation. Hayley, not all mates bear marks, and I’m pretty sure they’d be able to figure out that we’d done it just to prove them wrong, if they really wanted to.”

  She closed her eyes. “Marius, please.”

  She heard him pacing, a few steps up the alley, then a few steps back. She opened her eyes to see him running his hands through his hair.

  “Hayley, I’d do anything for you. But marking you like that—it goes against everything I feel for you. If you decide we’re really mates and you want a mark then—well, I’ll give it to you, and nothing would make me prouder than you bearing my mark, and me bearing yours. But for the Spokane Pride? Fuck them. Fuck them, Hayley. I can’t cheapen a mark just to keep their enforcer happy.”

  What he said made sense, sure. It even made her love him more than she did before. But in his “no,” she heard the world crashing down around them.

  She sighed. “Let’s go back to The A-Hole, then. I want to get sloppy drunk.”

  He looked at her uncertainly.

  “Please?” she said. “I just need to forget for a little bit.”

  She wasn’t sure if he’d agree or not, but he held out his arm in an overly formal gesture and waited for her to take it.