Wild Atonement Read online

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Marius helped Hayley into his truck. She was so substantial and forceful as a person, it was funny to him that she seemed so light as he gave her a hand up. She fought with the buckle for a moment before finally leaning back and allowing him to buckle her in.

  “I love you,” she said.

  Her words were only slightly slurred, but it made Marius smile. She smelled less like Red Vines and more like sangria—fruity, with an alcoholic bite. He kissed her nose and closed the door before coming around and getting in on his side of the truck.

  “It’s true, you know,” she said.

  He knew exactly what she was doing—this was the same thing he’d said to her, after telling her he loved her.

  “I know,” he said.

  “And I didn’t plan it this way, but it’s pretty convenient, you know? If we love each other, and we’re…you know. Mates. If we’re mates. Wow, that sounds so…heavy. Profound.”

  “It is heavy and profound,” he agreed.

  “I get why you don’t want to mark me,” she murmured.

  There was nothing he wanted more. But like he’d told her in that alleyway, no way. Not for the Spokane Pride or their stupid fucking enforcer.

  He drove carefully down Main Street, taking them back to her place where he figured she’d be more comfortable. Although his mind was full of Hayley, he couldn’t help but think of the conversation he’d had with his dad before leaving for The A-Hole.

  The phone had been too-warm in Marius’s hand while he listened to his old man’s voice.

  “I’m glad you called, Marius.”

  He could picture his father. Old before his time. It had been four years since the war against the Dark Pines Pride, but after the battle was over that night, Marius’s father had shifted from his grizzly back into his human form, and Marius had been struck, all of a sudden, by how much his dad seemed to have aged.

  And now his father was a self-proclaimed rogue, running a gas station in the middle of nowhere.

  “I’ve got some questions,” Marius said.

  “Figured you might, at some point.”

  An emotion too close to sadness filled Marius’s throat. After all this, his dad had to know that what they’d done was wrong.

  “Why’d you bring us to the Clausen Pride to begin with?” Marius asked. “Why couldn’t we just have stayed in Idaho and done our own thing?”

  His dad didn’t say anything right away, and Marius could imagine him frowning out some window, looking at trees, maybe, or the little gas station where he worked. “It was a bad decision,” he finally said. “I know that now. If I could go back, change what I did, I’d do that in a quick second. But at the time, I thought you, a little shifter boy, should grow up with other shifters. I didn’t like the Clausens. Hell, no one did. But they were powerful enough that they’d take in loners without worrying about us shaking up their ways. I pledged us to their pride because we were two grizzlies without a clan, and we needed—I thought—a solid structure of protection and camaraderie. I know you don’t want to hear this, Marius, but I did it for you.”

  “When Mom died—”

  “When your mom died, it destroyed us both.”

  “I know that now,” Marius said. “At the time, I thought you took us away because you were mad at me for crying all the time.”

  The old man’s voice softened. “Hell no, Marius. Hell no. You remember when I would go out to patrol the woods around our cabin some nights?”

  Marius nodded. “Yeah.”

  “That was so I could go outside and bawl my eyes out without waking you up.”

  Marius had picked at the edge of his coffee table, where a piece of laminate was peeling away from the particle board. “You could have cried with me.”

  “I know that now.”

  Tears threatened, so Marius closed his eyes. This old pain, it wasn’t giving him the answers he’d called for. But it was giving him the answers he needed. Still, he needed to know more about that war.

  “Why’d we even fight alongside the Clausens?” Marius asked. “When you saw how hungry they were for territory that wasn’t theirs, why didn’t we leave?”

  “With the Clausens, it was easy to join. Hard to leave. They’d have hunted us down as soon as they took out the Dark Pines Pride. I tried to get out at one point, long before the Dark Pines war. The old alpha told me we owed him our allegiance. If we’d been cougars or cats, he wouldn’t have cared—the Clausens had plenty of those. But because we’re grizzlies, he wanted us on his side. Fighting advantage, having different shifters.”

  “I didn’t want to fight anyone,” Marius said.

  “You didn’t.”

  “But that mountain lion—I threw him into a tree. You stood right there and watched.” The mountain lion had died instantly. What if that lion had been Hayley’s dad? Marius squeezed his eyes tighter, and brushed away a hot tear.

  “You’re not remembering everything, son. That lion was about to kill me. You saved my life.”

  Marius let out a heavy breath. Here was the real answer he needed. “Do you know who it was?”

  “It was one of the Spokane Pride. Don’t know his name.”

  “So it wasn’t one of the Dark Pines?” Marius couldn’t keep the tightness from his voice.

  “No, it wasn’t. By that point, the alpha and his wife had already been killed, and their allies were retreating. That Spokane lion, he jumped on me out of spite. A cowardly attack just before the retreat.”

  Marius couldn’t speak. He wasn’t even sure he was breathing at this point. The mountain lion he’d killed while protecting his dad—that lion hadn’t been related to Hayley’s family.

  He still had to atone for his part in the war, but he hadn’t killed her parents.

  He and his dad had talked a little more after that, some about his dad’s occasional visits with the Rock Creek Clan alpha and his mate. Marius stopped himself before telling his dad anything about Hayley. He wanted to, but he and his dad weren’t quite ready for that yet.

  Someday, though, he believed they would be. This one conversation was doing a lot to heal old wounds. It had been just what he needed before meeting Hayley at The A-Hole.

  Now, in his truck with Hayley, he sneaked a glance at her while waiting at a stop sign. Her cat’s eyes reflected the headlights of a passing car before going dark again, and then she regarded him solemnly.

  “I have to tell you something,” Marius said.

  “Okay.”

  “It’s about the war.”

  She inhaled sharply, then exhaled. “Okay.”

  “I checked with my dad, to be sure. I didn’t kill your parents. One shifter died at my hands, and it was someone from the Spokane Pride, my dad said. I threw the guy to protect my dad. He hit a tree, and died. But I hadn’t wanted to fight. I hadn’t wanted to be there at all.”

  “And the only thing you did, you did to protect someone you love,” she whispered.

  Marius relaxed his grip on the steering wheel. She sounded like she understood. “I’ve been mad at him for four years. But I called him tonight, to make sure…to make sure I hadn’t killed one of your parents. I know it doesn’t fix everything, but I had to know.”

  She reached across the bench seat to take one of his hands and squeeze it in her own. “Thank you for asking him,” she said.

  Overwhelmed with emotion, he choked out, “Least I could do.”

  “My parents were very much in love,” she said, seemingly out of nowhere.

  “Mine, too.”

  “Yeah?” She leaned her head back. “I think that’s the best. When we traveled, we saw really weird things that other groups of shifters do. There was this one wolf pack that had the alpha deciding who would be together. All pairings were said to be for the good of the pack. Just seems wrong, you know?”

  He nodded.

  “Which is why I don’t get why my parents would have agreed to this thing with the Lockmans. I think—I think they
were planning to get us out of it once the war was over. But how would we have done that?”

  Marius didn’t know, and it sounded like a rhetorical question, anyway. They drove the rest of the way to Hayley’s place, and Marius pulled up the drive. They got out of the car and Hayley walked in a mostly straight line to the stairs up to her apartment. He admired her form, her graceful walk, her perfectly plump ass.

  She stopped at the first step. “You coming, or what?”

  He rushed forward in answer, then captured her in his arms. She squeaked when he threw her over his shoulder, caveman-style, and carried her up the steps.

  She pounded his back. “I’m gonna throw up all over you,” she warned.

  He could hear the lie. She hadn’t gotten quite as sloppy drunk as she’d hoped, because Ross had been a good bartender and cut her off.

  “Keys,” he said, holding his hand behind him.

  She gave a big sigh but a second later dropped her keys into his open palm. He opened her door and brought her inside, where he set her down on the bed. Finding a glass in one of the cupboards by her mini-kitchen, he poured her some water. He handed it to her, and she drank most of it.

  He toed off his shoes, then knelt on the floor and helped get her boots off. As he set the second boot aside, he glanced up at her face. She was staring down at him, a look of tenderness in her pale blue eyes.

  “It’s true,” she said.

  He got up on his knees and crowded closer to her. She moved her legs so he could press up right against her bed. Taking her face in his hands, he whispered, “I know. I can hear it. I can feel it.”

  When he kissed her, she moaned gently and clutched his shoulders. But he pulled away. He lifted her legs up onto the bed and crawled in behind her, spooning her back with his body. In moments, she was asleep, and he lay there, wide awake, at the mercy of all his thoughts. Thoughts about pride wars, and mate marks, and what if, what if, what if.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Hayley woke up to the rich aroma of hot chocolate. Marius wasn’t in bed next to her, although beneath the scent of warm chocolate, she could smell his scent of wild grasses. She opened her eyes to see him sitting on her sofa, a mug in his hand as he watched her.

  “Creeper,” she said, grinning. “Do you like to watch women while they sleep?”

  He raised his mug in salute. “Just you.”

  “Good answer. I might let you live.”

  He stood up and gave her a second mug. “Breakfast in bed,” he said. “It’s not substantial, but it looks like you’re out of eggs and…everything.”

  “There are a couple of eggs in there, right?” she said, pointing to the mini fridge.

  He shook his head.

  She sighed. “I’ve been too preoccupied to shop, I guess. I’ll go today.”

  “I’ll go with you, if you want. Could be fun.”

  “Grocery shopping?”

  “If it’s with you, it’ll be fun. You’ll probably call the clerk a sofa-wanker or something.”

  She held back a laugh. “Unless I’m really mad, I reserve those kinds of names for people I like.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate. He’d made it just the way she liked—thick and chocolatey. “I guess I should take a shower, if we’re going out. I probably smell like a bar.”

  “I could use a shower, too,” he said, setting down his mug. He winked. “Should we conserve water?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. The idea was appealing, but her shower was made for one. “It’s a tiny shower…”

  His grin was wicked. “I think we’ll make it work.”

  Just then, her phone rang. She glanced down and took an involuntary step back. Boris Lockman.

  But Marius was here. She had nothing to be scared of. She answered the call. “Hello?”

  “Hayley. Our enforcer had an unexpected change in his schedule, so our meeting will be tonight. You’ll make yourself free.”

  “I—this is too short of notice,” she said.

  “If you’re telling us the truth about your ‘mate,’ I’m certain you’ll be glad to prove it and put this disagreement in the past.”

  Her mind raced. The more unsure and nervous she sounded, the more he’d disbelieve her claim that Marius was her mate.

  In a strong, even tone, she said, “I’m with someone. He is my mate.”

  Boris paused for a long moment before saying, “I can hear that you believe that. But I remain unconvinced.”

  He ended the call, and Hayley was left holding her phone, staring at it. When she looked up, Marius was gazing at her with heat in his eyes.

  “You believed what you said,” he said. “You don’t only love me—there’s more.”

  Wordlessly, Hayley nodded. His triumphant grin eased her anxiety. “Then we’ll go to this meeting, and we’ll show them. Right?”

  “Right.”

  She could ask him to mark her now, but it wouldn’t change the fact that the mark would be for the Lockmans’ benefit. Last night, she had understood where Marius was coming from, not wanting to cheapen it. But today, she really knew it, deep in her heart, and in her blood and bones.

  “What if the enforcer still refuses to take our side?” she asked. “What if they try to claim our territory?”

  “We can’t worry about that yet,” he said. “You have a strong claim.”

  Now that she had Marius, she didn’t want to be away from him. He was her mate. She launched herself at him, like she had in Paris Lake just over a week ago, and wrapped her arms and legs around him. His arms came up around her ass so he could hold her in place while she kissed him. He tasted like hot chocolate and goodness and love.

  “Come on,” he said, his voice gruff with passion. “Shower.”

  He put her down and they stepped into the bathroom. Hayley couldn’t stop shaking. It was a good thing Marius was helping to undress her, otherwise she wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it on her own. Tonight. Tonight, they’d face the Lockmans and their enforcer.

  Bittersweet. That’s what this was. She and Marius were mates and they both knew it. But tonight they’d have to convince the Lockmans of the truth.

  She turned on the water while Marius undressed himself. His long-sleeved tee came over his head, revealing the rippling muscles beneath, the flat discs of his nipples, his wide shoulders. He took his jeans off next, and looked up to catch her eyes while he did it.

  “Like what you see?” he asked.

  “As if your ego needs any help…but yes. Yes, I like what I see. I like who I see, too.”

  His smile widened as his eyes roved over her naked body. “I like what—and who—I see.”

  Hayley grinned and stepped into the tiny shower. “I don’t know how you think you’re going to fit in here,” she said over the sound of the pounding water.

  “That’s what she said.”

  Hayley groaned. “Seriously?”

  Chuckling, he stepped into the little stall. His semi-hard dick was taking up plenty of room of its own, so Hayley didn’t doubt his “she said” joke.

  “I still don’t know how you think we’re both going to shower—”

  “Like this.” He crushed his mouth to hers and pulled her hands up over her head. He pressed her against the wall. Then he broke the kiss to whisper, “Okay?”

  “Yeah,” Hayley said.

  In one smooth motion, he nudged her thigh up with his knee, then bent slightly. His cock was no longer semi-hard, it was all the way hard, and it was poised at her entrance.

  “Yes,” Hayley said, her voice a hiss.

  He entered her with a groan.

  His hands were strong on her wrists, his gaze fierce on her face. Water streamed from his hair, down his cheeks. It looked like tears. She leaned forward and licked one. Just water. Everything was okay.

  Everything was better than okay as he began to move inside her, pressing her against the shower wall with each thrust. His cock felt hot and heavy inside her, so good she couldn’t help but moan her approval.


  Warm water. Cool fiberglass. Marius.

  The friction of him thrusting inside her grew, building heat, building pleasure. His mouth was on her neck, teasing with lips, tongue, and teeth.

  “I want you,” she whispered. “I always want you.”

  “Hayley,” he said, biting her hard where her neck met her shoulder. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to get her to come. Pain and pleasure twined together. She rested her head against the shower wall and allowed him to support her weight as she came apart around him, quaking with the pleasure of it.

  He’d slowed down inside her, allowing her to ride it out. His gaze was a caress on her face. She leaned forward to kiss his lips, and he surged forward within her again, deliberately, his movements pounding. She held him tight, hugging him with her pussy while he came.

  “I love you, Hayley,” he said.

  “And I love you, Marius.”

  They shampooed each other’s hair, knocking elbows and sensitive bits as they washed, and laughing at how comical they must look, naked and sudsy and getting in the way.

  Afterward, Hayley got them each a towel so they could dry off and get dressed.

  “Jackson needs to know about that meeting,” Marius said, toweling off his hair and face.

  “I’ll send him a text,” she said.

  “You’re not alone, Hayley,” he said. “Let us help you. Tell him how bad this is, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  *

  Hayley let Marius drive them to the meeting. Boris had texted further instructions—they would meet on neutral ground between the Spokane and Dark Pines territories, at a burger place owned by a rogue shifter. And as she’d promised Marius, Hayley texted Jackson before the meeting.

  Hayley saw Jackson’s SUV in the parking lot, and she jumped out of Marius’s truck to go to it. “You didn’t bring Summer, did you?”

  “No way,” he said. “She’s pissed, but I think she’s dealt with enough shifter drama in the past couple of months.”

  Marius stiffened at Hayley’s side, but Jackson held up a hand. “I don’t blame you, man,” Jackson said. “At all. We’ve moved past it.”